Something like 8-9 months ago, my thrift-store leather
Timberland jacket fell off the back of the chair at my desk. When I went to
pick it up, some terribly mean invisible gremlin took my left arm, ripped it
out of the socket, twisted it, and then jammed it back into the socket. Or at least that’s what it felt like.
That was December, January, February or something like that.
After a couple of months of agonizing pain when I reached for something or
twisted it a certain way, I went to an orthopedist. That was April, but until
now, all signs indicated there was nothing wrong.
Since April, I’ve had a total of three MRIs (two shoulder,
one neck), X-rays, anti-inflammatories, steroids, physical therapy and some
kind of really, really, really painful shot that was supposed to block pain but
didn’t. All that took place between two doctors and one physical therapist at a
hospital that took an hour for me to get to, which added all kinds of stress.
And in all those appointments, I was probably with the actual doctors maybe a
total of 20 minutes. That counts a five-minute stretch with the original doctor
as he waited to see if the shot would kick in. (It didn’t.)
The original doctor diagnosed me from across the room. In
two appointments, I spent maybe five minutes with him before he passed me off
to the other doctor, a frozen shoulder specialist, who prescribed physical
therapy and was initially convinced it was frozen shoulder. To be fair, I had
many of the symptoms, but after unsuccessful and incredibly painful PT she
changed her mind and announced it was probably my neck and not the shoulder at
all. I was like, um, OK, but you have the neck MRI I did four months ago, right?
They never bothered reviewing them.
As it turns out, I have some kind of thing in my spine where
the disk is mashing against the spinal cord, but Doctor 2 still wanted to rule
out any shoulder injury with the shot. It hurt, but didn’t work, and this convinced
Doctor 2 it was my neck and not my shoulder at all.
At this point, though, it was about August and I was just
exhausted and frustrated trying to commute to the place, and I also really didn’t
understand why kind of doctor they were trying to send me to next. I tried to
make an appointment to understand and that didn’t pan out, but fortunately, the
medical staff at work helped me figure out it was a pain management doctor who
wanted to do a shot in my neck.
However, at that point, I was just done in trying to deal with
the commute and really not overly happy with the doctors, who always seemed
like they were just trying to get me out the door. The medical staff made me
another appointment at a different place, and, after two postponements, I
finally saw the doctor today.
And there’s something wrong with me! I’m so relieved.
The pain is just incredible, I figured there had to be
something wrong, but all the MRIs came back with nothing special. I’m no wimp,
though, and the pain, which is getting worse, just takes my breath away.
Massages have helpd, and during the last one, the masseuse
found a spot that definitely trigged wet-your-pants kind of pain. She said it
was a tendon and it was “crooked.” She tried to “pull it out” and holy God,
that was the worst. Massage therapists are absolute sadists.
But as it turns out, she was pretty dead-on, at least
partly. By that I mean the new doctor (No. 3) took a brief look at the MRI,
left the room and came back five minutes later with not only one issue but
about five.
The tendon, indeed, is pinched between a couple of bones, so
the masseuse was right on that. I have tendonitis as well, plus arthritis and
some kind of other “you’re getting old” kind of thing. Can’t do much about that,
but I have the bone-on-bone that I had in the other shoulder, too.
As if all that wrong with my shoulder isn’t enough, I also
have what they call here a “hernia,” which is where the spine disks are
stabbing the nerve. I really did suspect that, too, because once in awhile I
will bump my arm, but not move the shoulder, and a jolt of pain goes all the
way up my arm.
I feel vindicated that something really is wrong. Dr. 3 read
the readout on the MRIs, which said all was right with the world, kept saying, “This
is not right. There is something wrong with your shoulder.”
The problem is, though, that I don’t know which of the owies
is really making me go owie. My spinal disks are attacking my nerve, yes, but
that might not be the source of the pain. It could just be the tendon. The
course of action is to start with a cortisone shot and see if that quells the
pain. If not, it could be the neck thing.
Honestly, right now, I don’t care. I’m just so thrilled that
someone validated the pain I’ve been in for more than a pregnancy’s worth of
time. My plan is to try the cortisone next week. And get another massage.
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