Ahead of the deadline

April 15 is a big day in my world. It’s the end of my employer’s rating period, which signals a month of frantic writing of evaluations.

They’re horrible things, really, and a great exercise in both quasi-fiction and writing around topics. If our EERs – what we call these things – were movies, they’d be “inspired by real events.” A few could be classified “based on a true story” but barely any are hardcore documentaries.

If anything comes good out of anything you were involved in – even loosely or peripherally involved in – you can take full credit. If you didn’t sign the contract, you “contributed.” Doing nothing but showing up and nodding can be defined as “contributing.” Even if you as an individual did absolutely nothing but boss and order people around for 365 days, you are able – and even encouraged – to take the credit of what they accomplished.

It’s really sickening because the people who read these things base promotions off of them. Since people aren’t honest and embellish up the wazoo, these things sound phenomenal and louses get promoted. It’d be nice to see people write, “Soandso so is an idiot and didn’t do a damn thing all year” when Soandso is an idiot and didn’t do a damn thing all year. Instead, they’re scared of getting sued so it comes out more like, “Soandso gets along well with her peers and subordinates and her section has accomplished X, Y and Z during this rating period.” Except there’s also a comma after “Y” because we have to use the Oxford comma.

That’s another thing about these. The junior officers are so freaked out over them that they really believe something like the use of the Oxford comma, using two spaces vs. one after sentences or spelling out what “TDY” will make a difference between getting tenured/promoted or not.

Seriously, people, if your promotion depends on putting a comma after the “white” in “red, white and blue,” do you really want to work there?

Me, I just don’t care. I’ve written how I liked and barely made any suggestions to the other two people who have to “rate” and “review” me and I’ve done fine. I just don’t think it’s worth stressing over. It’s really amazing the amount of time spent on these. There are people who have to write 15+ of these things (my Guanghzou bosses were on the hook for 25 or so every year) and that’s a giant time suck, especially when you get high-maintenance officers who want to control every word of what two other people write. It’s painful, and parts of the department shut down for two months to work on them. My first big boss literally blocked off four hours of each day for over two months to write them. Nothing else gets done.

Since my job is to push these through the HR process, it also will take up much of my day from here until May 15, the deadline. My goal is to get mine done and then get out the whip to crack on everyone else.

I’m very much into getting the pain over with, and that goes for the other April deadline as well. Taxes are just horrible. This year hasn’t been fun. I don’t understand the new tax laws – I never do – but between the fact that the charitable check I write annually didn’t clear until January 2018 and that I got a promotion, I got socked with paying four digits instead of getting back anything. I’m not sure how it happened but it’s really annoying.

What is also annoying is tax software. I’ve used TurboTax for 10-15 years and have been fully satisfied with it, but last year they dumbed it down. I think using the phone/tablet software things have made things so much worse. I hate scrolling and miss having it all on one page. TurbotTax has done that in spades. It’s just a series of “duh” questions that aren’t relevant with cutesy responses.

I hate clicking just to click and that's all TurboTax is now. It takes forever to get through a single subject. To answer one question, you go through a series like this:

Let's see if this applies to you click we'll ask you some questions click are you ready click are you sure click ok click here's option one click how do you answer click are you sure of your answer click here's option two click how do you answer click are you sure of your answer click here's option three click how do you answer click are you sure of your answer click one last chance to verify your answers click are you sure click do you want to review your answers click are you sure click ok, are you ready for the answer click here it is click do you like the answer click great! Click.

And then you get to No. 2. It’s lather, rinse, repeat and it’s made a laborious process even more laborious.

This year I cut the cord and moved to H&R Block. It cut the clicks by maybe 30 percent. Still a PITA, and I had to pay slightly more in taxes but it was worth it to cut the clicks. I’m just glad it’s over with.

Signs of old age, I guess

Happy birthday to me! I’m now officially on the road to 50 and just hope I make it.

For my No. 49, and this was premeditated, I celebrated – or whatever the right word would be – in Acibadem hospital, getting my shoulder fixed. Not the same shoulder I got fixed two years ago; the one I hurt picking up a jacket.  No kidding. My suede Timberland jacket fell off my chair at work last year and, when I went to pick it up, an evil gremlin ripped it out of its socket, twisted it and then crammed it back in.

It’s been over a year, several topicals, a shot, steroids, a couple MRIs, X-rays, PT, two cortisone shots and more PT, and finally it came down to surgery. And at that point, after all that, to think I could really be on the road to recovery in a day, well, that was a birthday present. I found out I’d need the surgery last week but they couldn’t get me in until Saturday. I was fine with that.

So for my birthday, I headed up to the hospital, decked in green. I got a lot of weird stares. Oh well.

The hospital, someone at work told me, was like a six-star hotel. I gotta say, it was really swanky. There was a room service menu, but I couldn’t eat anything prior to surgery. Gosh, that’s the worst. I couldn’t eat or drink from midnight to surgery time, which meant 12 and a half hours. No tea for 12 ½ hours – that’s criminal. And I was just so hungry!

There was a giant clock above he TV and I was just counting down until I went under so I didn’t have to think of how hungry and thirsty I was. Finally they took me to the room, which didn’t seem like an OR to me. It had a bunch of equipment in it and I felt like it could have been a warehouse except everything was clean. I almost expected more people to be in surgery at the same time; there was that much equipment.

Anyway, they put me under intravenously. Took no time at all. When I woke up, some two hours later, I was just shaking uncontrollably, but I guess that was normal. No one looked panicked, and there were a bunch of people there.

Back in my room, I was still thirsty more than hungry but when the guy brought food I got hungry again. He brought two meals; I guess because I missed lunch. I had both soups but only the roasted chicken meal. Felt so much better after that.

Everyone in the hospital was nice, but you can’t get a lot of rest with people checking up on you constantly. One person kept coming to ice my shoulder and another would do the IV thing.

I hate the IV thing. It’s preferable to needles going in and out; I get that.  But the idea of a needle living under my skin just gives me the heebie jeebies, It limited me more, too, because I had on arm immobilized and a needle in my other. I couldn't hold the phone to my ear at all.

I was mobile, but when they had the IV hooked up, it was a pain. You think grocery carts have bad wheels? They had nothing on this. I had to drag it from here to there and it would just get stuck on one of the bad wheels. I even resorted to just picking it up but since I had a needle in that arm it creeped me out. I really didn’t want to drop I and rip the needle out of my arm, so I mostly drug it, feeling like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

The rounds continued through the night so I didn’t get a lot of sleep but I haven’t been in real pain yet. One of the IVs was a painkiller but they didn’t send me home with any drugs. The doctor said to just take Advil.

After a tiny breakfast of a piece of pineapple – no tea, no milk, no toast – and the an amazing lunch of salmon, potatoes au gratin and chocolate cake, I got the OK to leave. I was still trying to find out some details and I was walking to the nurses’ station to ask when I saw a lady with tea. She must have caught a glimpse of the look on my face because she offered me some. Did I want tea? Of course!

Now I’m home and doing fine. I have a sling more complicated than one of Wendy’s saddles and a massive ice pack. Playing work by ear but plan on going just out of sheer boredom.

Right now, though, I am curled up with Butch and Sundance.

Running out of time

 I’m down to about four months left here in Istanbul. One some days, I can give an exact account. That tends to happen on bad days at work. Last time that happened, it was 115 days, so it’s less than that. On *really* bad days, I can tell you the number of working days left.

That’s going to change. Well, obviously the number will, but I did the counting thing before scheduling a handful of days off. I have a ton of leave and after the end of June, I won’t be able to take annual leave until 2019, so I need to burn some.

Absolutely no idea.
These guys were in our Antalya 10k hotel
lobby - some kind of promotion.

That means I get to do my favorite thing: plan trips. I’m stepping into the AirBnB waters for a couple of upcoming ones. In the days of Peace Corps, I did CouchSurfing but haven’t tried this yet. As Leila and I are looking forward to a week in Switzerland in 2019 and AirBnB seems cheaper than hotels, so we’re looking to that for options. I figured trying now might work.

There’s a week off I’ve been planning for months. Well, I’ve done very little planning; I’m doing a package tour of the Baltics. It’s going to be so very cold, but I was kind of limited. The other week trip I wanted to plan would have been colder – the Stans. That gets saved until later.

Anyway, the Baltics still isn’t for a bit, but it’s the next one scheduled and I tried to do some pre-packing today. The weather will necessitate a lot more clothes. A backpack won’t suffice for that one.

In an effort to check off more countries, a couple more trips will be the kind where you fly into one place and then figure out transport to another, where you have your outgoing flight. There are two of those coming up, and they’re the ones I’m doing with AirBnB. My hope is that my hosts will be able to point me to a bus schedule or something.

As amazing as Turkey is, I feel like I’ve done the stuff that I want to outside of Istanbul. Inside Istanbul, that’s another story but I’m kind of limited here. However, there’s one more trip I would do if I could: the Seven Churches of Revelation. I have two more weekends blocked off and could do it but I have to work out some logistics.

Even with the planned time off, I’m down to under 100 days, I suppose. It’ll speed up (and slow down) down the road, but I have another thing that might take me out for more: shoulder surgery. Yeah, that tune again. Different shoulder this time.

A little over a year ago, I dropped my jacket at work and went to pick it up. It was like you pulled my shoulder out of socket, twisted it and stuck it back. Now, first, I was stupid to not immediately jump to legalese and crap and file a workers’ comp claim. I was at work, and I did get injured in the workplace, not that the injury is in any way related to my job. But I didn’t do that, so no sense in mourning it.

 I just have a thing for boats.

What has aggravated me since is by four months after the injury, when it wasn’t getting any better, I figured I’d need surgery. However, the medical rigmarole is just as bad here as in America. It’s now over a year later and I’ve seen something like six doctors. I’ve had creams, anti-inflammatories, rice, some kind of shot, steroids, a round of PT, two MRIs, X-rays, two cortisone shots and another, longer round of PT. It’s not any better. I mean, it’s better than it was, say, six months ago, but it’s not any better than a after the injury itself. It’s one of those random ones that it is fine when I do “this,” “this” or “this.” It’s only when I do “that” that it hurts, and it’s not like a little tweak – it’s a world of pain.

I’m at the surgery step now, but it’s never that easy. The hospital doesn’t take my insurance, and even though I can file afterwards, I have to somehow pay up front. So far, I don’t know how much it will be, but my problem is that I live and die by AmEx and it’s not called “American” Express for a reason. Not accepted here. But it’s just an annoying detail and I’m going to get this done as soon as I can. Unfortunately, it requires an overnight.

It’s the recovery that’s going to be a PITA. More PT, yah. Groan. I’m told it will be six weeks before I can lift my arm over my head, but I can start doing the hang-down PT the day after. What I don’t want to mess up is the preparation for my next goal: a half marathon.

I realize when I ran the 10k in Siem Reap a couple of years ago that would likely be my only one. Well, I’ve done maybe 3-4 of those (one last weekend in Antalya – those are the photos), a 14k and a 15k. I want to do this. I am totally realistic in that it will take me 2:45, but I’m fine with that. I just want to do it. (Remember, I don’t use the term “run a race.” I say “participate in a 10k.” I’m not racing anyone.)

I'm liking the B&W settings for pictures.
Everything looks better in B&W.
Well, maybe not the sci-fi couple above. Red's their color.

The shoulder thing, as well as the week off, is going to hamper my training, but that’s really sort of an informal thing anyway. I don’t properly train any more than I warm up or stretch afterwards. (Which might explain the leg cramps, but whatever.) Some guy at work temporarily was a marathoner and he suggested that what I should do is over the weekends is to extend my regular 12k-ish run, so I did that this weekend. I ran 14k on Friday night, 15k on Saturday morning and 16k this morning.

There’s still so much I want to see in Istanbul, or see again. It took one of our temporary workers out yesterday and we ate fresh see bass and some kind of mussel, then took a bus to one of the walking areas. After the morning run, I walked another 7k. I really think my calves should be like steel by now. I also bought some little touristy things, but it now occurs to me that I don’t yet have a magnet that says “Istanbul” on it. I have 2-3 from Turkey, but nothing specifically from Istanbul. Oh well.