Publix, Radio Margaritaville, Eskimo Joe’s, playing tourist, dumb Americans: it’s my normal

Cockfighting Cupids

Hopefully this is the last time I grouse about this, but how stupid can traveling Americans be? I’m manning the duty phone again and it’s just amazing what people do.

First, visas are tricky to come by these days, and, if you travel internationally, you should always know how to obtain a visa in the country you’re visiting. So many people do not, and it seems that most of those people have called me this weekend. They are also under some delusion that I can beam them in the country. Nope. Go back from where you came.

They also seem to think I wield power with Turkish Airlines, such as the woman who missed her connection because, while her originating flight was on time, she didn’t realize she had to walk to the connecting gate. She was all pissed and expected me to talk to the airline out of having her pay a change fee. She said she didn’t have it and would “have to spend two months in the airport.”

Then there’s the people who put their 70+ grandmothers on an international flight alone and then get upset when I don’t swoop down in my black helicopter when they miss their connecting flights. The grandmothers always, always, are “elderly,” either “sick” or “crippled,” and never speak English, yet the relatives are fine to put them on international flights all by themselves.

"From Russia With Love" and "Inferno" filmed here.

Two scam calls, though neither caller would acknowledge they were being scammed. One lady who was concerned if her kids’ father could take them internationally without her. I had a terrible connection on that one and was basically yelling the same thing over and over in hopes that she got it. I was concerned because I wasn’t sure IF she wanted him to be able to take them. She did, so I kept trying to repeat “I think so, but call the airline.” Seriously, why would I know that? And how hard would it be to write a note just in case?

My favorite so far (I have the thing til Tuesday) was the American in Greece who called me with a beef with a Turkish company. He was stunned when I told him it was none of the U.S. government’s business.

Solve your own problems, people. That guy called me on Thanksgiving morning as I was headed out to play tourist. We’re still on “movement restrictions,” but I got permission to visit two places on Thursday morning: the cisterns and the Archeological Museum. I really wanted to see those two, and my annual museum pass expired the Friday after T-giving so I was really glad I got the OK to go.

Obligatory Medusa photo

I sped through the cisterns because, well, first of all, it’s pretty much all the same thing, but also because I had no cell service and couldn’t risk not being available for the duty phone.

But it was such a pretty place, and very peaceful when you’re there at 10 a.m. I’d been to a cistern once before, in Morocco, but it wasn’t nearly as nice.

Here’s a bit from Lonely Planet on it:

https://www.lonelyplanet.com/turkey/istanbul/attractions/basilica-cistern/a/poi-sig/402088/360887

“This subterranean structure was commissioned by Emperor Justinian and built in 532. The largest surviving Byzantine cistern in İstanbul, it was constructed using 336 columns, many of which were salvaged from ruined temples and feature fine carved capitals.  …

It was originally known as the Basilica Cistern because it lay underneath the Stoa Basilica, one of the great squares on the first hill. Designed to service the Great Palace and surrounding buildings, it was able to store up to 80,000 cubic meters of water delivered via 20km of aqueducts from a reservoir near the Black Sea, but was closed when the Byzantine emperors relocated from the Great Palace. Forgotten by the city authorities some time before the Conquest, it wasn't rediscovered until 1545…”

Two of the 336 columns are built on Medusa heads, one of them upside down. I feel like that’s the photo op everyone goes after.

Look! It's the Brady Bunch

I ran over to the Archaeology Museum after that, and again I practically had the place to myself – for a while. I was winding down in the “Istanbul Through the Ages” exhibit and the noise level increased exponentially. I think the entire Istanbul system entered the museum at the same time, so I got out of there pretty quickly after that.

But I loved perusing the exhibits. They had an entire display of sarcophaguses, like four rooms’ worth. Those just amaze me. I took three photos of one huge one, getting closer and closer with each shot. The detail is amazing, and how, first of all, and how long it must have taken to get those things right.

I’m really glad I got to go. I fear that in eight years, when I tell someone I lived in Istanbul for two years, they’re going to think I was an idiot for not being able to visit all this city has, but right now a lot of it’s off limits.

So that was one thing to be thankful on Thanksgiving. Another was being invited to a friend of a friend’s place. My colleague from work has friends from church who got together and asked me to join them.

There were a handful of Americans in the mix, plus one Mexican who had gone to school at Oklahoma State. The hostess was from Oklahoma and I totally blew their minds when I told them I’d gone to Eskimo Joe’s. Had a weird conversation with the bartender that had something to do with Dominik Hasek.

A taste of home

As I tend to do at parties, I helped out in the kitchen. I’m much better at coping with groups, even small ones, when I have a task. So, channeling Karen, I jumped in and helped with the food. Never done a sugar glaze before, but it worked.

I can make myself at home in a kitchen, but when Oklahoma pulled out the gravy packet from Publix, I knew I was home. Oh, man, I was so happy to see that. I miss Publix.

It’s little connections like that that do you a world of good on Thanksgiving. Kind of like a win over the Gators, you know?

But Monday was the best. The hurricane relief concert was past my bedtime or before my wake-up time; I’d had a busy weekend and just couldn’t spare those hours as waking ones, but I did write myself a note to turn on Radio Margaritaville as soon as I woke up. I managed to catch the last two songs live (and subsequently had “Hey Good Lookin’” going through my head all day) and then got a text from Leila from the show.

Happy she could go, but I was so jealous. Yes for Jimmy Buffett, Toby Keith, Kenny Chesney and somewhat for resident Seminole Jake Owen (seriously, he didn’t wear an FSU shirt? Shame!) but Scotty Emerick was there, too. Bucket list item! Had a hunch but it wasn’t exactly like I could take that black helicopter from Istanbul to the civic center. It’s only for dumb Americans.