Right after I moved here, I got notice from the feds that I’d qualified for some job, could I come in and do this six-hour assessment?
Well, no, I couldn’t. But fortunately, they were able to defer my application for a year. I have until April 27 to take it.
(Note: This doesn’t end with me getting job at this juncture, but I like the story)
Apparently, in the application, I swore I had or would obtain some Microsoft specialist certification I’d never heard of. Upon taking the assessment, I would have 30 days to prove I had the certification.
I didn’t have it. I know Word fairly well, but as it turned out, they wanted Word 2007 and I only had 2003. The newer (but not newest) version is a HUGE upgrade. Like the difference between my 4Runner and my mom’s. I am not familiar with that at all. Specialist? Yeah, right.
But I’m a fairly competent person, right? And I can prepare. I contacted Workforce Plus (they know me there, which really is kind of sad) and got a tutorial, which I’ve been playing with in my free time. Free time, however, is not in abundance right now. (See previous post.)
The test cost $70, which was an ordeal in itself to pay. First off, I don’t have a bank account here. It works for me because all I do is go twice a month to banks: one, my cable company’s and two my utility people’s. I fill out a form and hand over cash. I have an .80 cent fee to do one of those and the other is no cost (unless you count the Dunkin Donut I usually splurge on as I leave the banking complex).
To pay this bill, I had to go to yet another bank. They gave me two options, and, seeing the name of one of those on a big building nearby, I tried there first.
Swing and a miss. Not only had they given me the wrong account number, I learned that even if you wave a stack of rupiah, an ATM card and an American Express card at the bank for this particular purpose, they will not take your money. They wanted US cash, which I don’t have. You know, seeing as how I don’t live in the US.
Thwarted, I went home and emailed the nice lady back. They took away that bank option and told me to go to the other and gave me the rupiah amount. Yay.
Finding that bank was a challenge, but it turned out to be under my nose. It’s a BCA bank, which I figured had to be in the three-building (soon to be four) World Trade Center across the street. But I’ve been in all the buildings and have never seen it. I looked on the way back from that little excursion and came up empty.
Google is a wonderful tool and I searched for the bank and two sites assured me that there was a branch in that complex, even stating which building. I also wrote down two other alternate locations within two kilometers from my apartment.
Sure enough, there is one right across the street. I hadn’t seen it because it’s in the building clearly marked “HSBC” and on the second floor, not visible when you walk in.
(Aside: I never knew HSBC was a foreign bank. I honestly thought it was based in the US and, although I knew it didn’t stand for either “Holy Shit, Buffalo’s Cold” or “Hot Sauce Blue Cheese,” I thought it was in upstate NY. Blame hockey rink sponsorships.)
Anyway, I went to the mezzanine level and, with the help of four people, paid for the test.
Then I got pushed back a week in taking it on their end because of computer issues and then a day on my end because of a snafu at work wherein I needed to change my day off.
In the meantime, I practiced this tutorial but, the whole time, had it in the back of my mind passing the thing on the first shot was a long shot. I mean, I had never used the software. I gave myself a 40 percent chance to pass it on the first shot. Not good, but if it was the lottery I’d play.
So my prayer this morning, and I am not kidding, was to pass. Not to pass with flying colors. Just to pass. I told God I didn’t care if I passed it by two points, I just really needed to pass it, please.
I didn’t write off having to take it again, but time’s awastin’ on this one. Depending on the results, I either needed to re-take the thing or try to schedule an assessment and buy a trans-oceanic plane ticket. No pressure there.
So yeah, passing would be in my best interest. I didn’t care by how much.
And really, as the joke goes, what do you call the person who graduates at the bottom of her medical school class?
"Doctor."
Who remembers what someone made on the test? Passing grade, please Lord.
The test was bizarre. The tutorial I had was 55 questions. The Real Thing only had 25 or so, and 45 minutes to take. I had the option of skipping a question to come back from it, which was good.
Some of that’s stuff WAS NOT in the tutorial. I had never SEEN some of that crap before. I mean, I was fumbling around like a blind person. Other things I knew how to do but not to alter. The screen didn't even look like my tutorial. Once I accidentally hit "forward" when I meant to hit "skip," meaning I sent in a blank answer and automatically got it wrong.
Finally, I clicked “forward” and the screen blanked. I’d sort of lost track of how many I’d answered – I kept cycling through the skipped questions, like a game of solitaire – and suddenly I was at the end. It took its sweet time in tallying up the results.
Passing grade: 660.
My Grade: 700.
I freaking passed. I am a "specialist" without ever having touched the software. Thank you, Jesus, who, in my mind, was way too literal in answering my prayer. (Of course, I *had* only asked for a two-point margin so maybe it wasn’t as literal as I felt it was.)
I sat there and laughed until I had tears falling.
So the next step in this saga-in-the-making is to see if I really can schedule the assessment and I’ve put that in motion.
As soon as I got home, I notified the potential employer and put into motion rescheduling thing. They would have gotten it Friday morning Eastern time.
Then I slept well. Very well.
Saturday morning, I checked my e-mail and I have *already* been rescheduled. This is another Act of God, so far as I am concerned because the assessment is six hours and likely involves multiple people whom I have inconvenienced for asking for this 11-month late favor.
But not only has it been rescheduled, it’s been set at a time that’s good for me. April 9, which means that I can leave here for Florida then go to DC and then return from DC back to Jakarta and not have to deal with either lost travel time or two separate RT tickets during what will likely be a two-week break or so.
I am Spartacus, and I am so thankful.
And, quite honestly, I have been so worried about all this that at this very moment, I am beyond relieved. So beyond relieved that I have don’t even recognize the feeling.
I figure it's something like acknowledging you've been the brunt of someone's twisted sense of humor. Like God's.
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