And that was the case on my shower head holder. I noticed recently it had been kind of falling down and it finally just came out of the wall. It’s basically just a piece of plastic – two, really – that were screwed into the ceramic tile.
Well, one screw, anyway. The other was a useless limb, because they’d drilled the hole in the wrong place. The top one, of course, so it drooped, which eventually pulled the anchored-in screw on the bottom out, taking the whole thing with it.
So I had to get this fixed, which entailed an off-day trip to Giant. Not realizing at the time the screw holes were off, I figured I’d just get some caulk and anchor the screws back in the holes and move on with life.
So I did a little pre-shopping done – I still have to go back today – after perusing the two home improvement aisles at my faithful grocery-and-more store. I got a tube of clear silicone for the fix, just over a buck or so.
Once I got home and ate one of the Polo packs, I put on the music – still into “Red Headed Stranger” – and got to work.
As soon as I took the thing down, though, I realized the screw holes were off and the silicone alone wasn’t going to swing it. The top screw is useless and the anchor for the bottom one broke, rendering it pretty much useless as well.
This not being Morocco or someplace with a Lowe’s or a Home Depot, I had no idea of where to go to get what I needed, not that I was sure what that was. I first tried to just silicone the bottom screw in but realized that wasn’t going to hold. I needed something solid to screw the screw itself into.
My apartment’s not too big. Basically, I don’t collect stuff that might be of use later on. I have what I need and that’s it. I mean, yeah, I have two plastic dog bones, but mostly the stuff has an immediate purpose. So it’s not like I have this Tim Taylor tool chest lying around I can bust open and pull out whatever. And the dog bones weren’t going to cut it.
But let’s face it, I’m from the South and I can come up with some kind of redneck fix. White trash, I’m OK with that. I mean, when Wendy told me they were having a redneck water slide at the arena after their barrel race, I couldn’t figure out how that was different from a water slide. I mean, it’s just a piece of plastic down on the lawn, right?
Oh. Right. That IS a redneck water slide. I thought it was reality. In my world, it is. Blame it on Daddy.
So I have to fix this thing on the cheap with whatever I have on hand. All I needed was something that works with a wood screw.
Oh, hey, how about wood? I just happened to have two pieces of wood, even – in the form of a pair of chopsticks from my favorite fast-food place, Yoshinoya.
This place isn’t rednecky whatsoever. It’s Japan’s oldest fast food restaurant, I think, founded in 1899. And it’s Jakarta’s saving grace, at least in my eyes.
They have rice bowls. This means they are my friend. Mostly I have the beef but lately I’ve downed the beef/veggie combo. I tried the teriyaki chicken and it was OK, but I liked the beef (which is US beef) better. Especially when you dump the whole little packet of spices on it.
Usually when I eat there, I eat *there.* When you dine in (it’s in the food court, so that’s a relative term) you get a bowl of free brothy stuff. I don’t guess you can call it soup (I’m sure there’s a term for it but white trash wouldn’t know). I’m OK with eating the rice/beef/veggies with chopsticks, but when you dump the brothy stuff into the rice bowl, it becomes counter-productive to use chopsticks.
It is possible, though – you eat the solids a few bits at a time and then pick up the bowl, Morocco-style, and drink the soup. I don’t usually do that in the mall. (Usually.)
When you order takeout, you get a packet with a spoon, chopsticks and the pepper packet. At the time I ordered takeout, I used the pepper packet and my own spoon. I think the plastic one is gathering dust on my out-of-work microwave right now, but the chopsticks got tossed into the back of my utensils drawer, which has a total of six utensils in it. Seven, if I misfile the paring (only) knife.
In trying to think of something to cram in this little screw hole, I remembered the chopsticks. I have no idea why. But you know, it worked. I stuck the end in the hole, then Swiss Army Knifed it off (hey, I guess I do have more than one knife!), then repeated for the second hole.
I still couldn’t make the second screw fit, but my solution worked. I was able to screw in the bottom screw. (This is my mental mistake – I should have worked top down and used the higher hole. I imagine down the road it’ll collapse again and I’ll repeat the job, but that’s OK – I still have one chopstick, and what else can you do with one chopstick?)
I loaded up the silicone to hold the rest – three rounds – and I’m back in business.
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