I answered a question on Yahoo about the differences between
PC and the foreign service. The differences, really, are legion but can be
summed up like this: In FS, I can order Junior Mints from Amazon, and get them
delivered to me in the diplomatic pouch.
It’s wonderful. Like I think I’ve said before, our mail call
is a lot like it was on M*A*S*H, only updated for the 21st century.
There’s an email blast for everyone who gets a package, and then it’s a rush to
get to the mailroom on the higher floor.
Last week, the balance of my Walmart order came – a new
pitcher for my tea. It matches the little glasses I bought previously, only a
different color. They’re Aladdin glasses that resemble Mason jars, only shorter
and fatter. The glasses are green, but they didn’t have the pitcher in green,
so I got red. The set together would be perfect for Christmas if I ever did any
entertaining.
The pitcher, and likely the cups but I haven’t checked, are
decorated with stickers that say “Made in China.” Oddly, I can’t find stuff
like that here. Some is for import only.
So Walmart is the standby. I get mail from them, Amazon and
LL Bean. Those are my go-tos. I’m waiting on a package from LL Bean. They added
another color to their perfect fit pants lineup.
I’m not really proud that Walmart is the standby, but that’s
the way it is. I can get groceries from there. I get stuff from Target, too,
but they don’t send Cheetoes for shelf prices.
This order, though, I’ve realized that just because I can
get things shipped here, it’s not necessarily a good idea to do so, especially
certain times on the year.
Guangzhou is on about the
same longitude (or latitude, I don’t really know which is which) as Miami, meaning it’s freaking
hot in the summer. Hot and humid.
Mail comes over by plane. As you’ve probably noticed, there
aren’t a lot of mail bags in coach. They’re in cargo, which is hot.
Hot underbellies of planes = melted Junior Mints. This is
what I learned recently. Melted Junior Mints are really hard to ration, even if
you stick them in the freezer as soon as they arrive. I am pretty careful
eating them and treat myself to half a little box every night. It equals about
6-7 Junior Mints, and they get hard to chisel off and separate when they’re
melty.
My first two shipments came all right, but then I guess it
just got too hot outside. I’ve switched to Wintogreen LifeSavers for the
summer, but I’m not as disciplined on those. I can eat a bag in two days. I
think they’ve lined with crack or something.
In trying to hit the $50 mark for the free Walmart shipping,
I decided to add some cookies. Granted, I have access to cookies here, but I’m
not a real big fan of the weird Oreo flavors. My grocery store carries plain,
but it’s a big seller and they tend to run out of it. And Chips Ahoy cookies
are priced insanely.
I haven’t found a decent local brand of cookies just yet.
They had some good ones in Jakarta,
but trial and error on cookies can be very discouraging. I remember the Scooby
snack crackers a little too well, for one, and green tends to mean pistachio
and not mint, which is disgusting to me. As are the potato chip flavors
(tomato, seaweed and shrimp), so I am not encouraged to experiment on cookies.
So Walmart it is. First thing, though, just know that even
though Keebler’s Grasshoppers are THE best cookie, they’re not an option during
summer for the same reason Junior Mints aren’t. They don’t chisel well, and
chiseled Grasshoppers (a/k/a poor man’s Thin Mints) are best over vanilla ice
cream, which isn’t available here.
I thought I’d hit the jackpot when I found Iced Animal
cookies (also by Keebler; boy am I dropping some brand names in this post!) . I
thought I remembered these from childhood. Just your basic cookie. Nothing but
shortbread cookies with some kind of pink sugar poured on them. I remember them
to be fantastic and good with just milk, as opposed to requiring ice cream. So
I added to bags to my cart and checked out.
Sometimes reminiscing about the past is better than trying
to relive it. (Although I would have gladly tried if those Danish Wedding
Cookies still existed – get those elves to work, Keebler!)
I tore open a bag as soon as I got them and oh, my. In the
30 years since my childhood, they changed the icing. It’s not the thin layer of
pink anymore. No, that would have shipped well.
Now, the cookies have two kinds of icing on them, at least
as far as I could determine. It was hard to do because in shipment, the cookies
had been crushed and the icing had melted. Each bag was a mix of shortbread
cookie, pink icing, white icing and some of those little sprinkle things.
The icing (both pink and white, from what I could tell) was
sort of the cake kind. Not baked into the cookie, but the kind where you have
to lick your fingers after. Normally, that wouldn’t be a bad thing, but when
you have to separate icing goo from solid cookies, it’s kind of messy.
I guess at one point they had been shaped like animals, but
what I received was this bag containing a glob of sugar in various forms that
appeared to have been thrown into a blender and set on “course” for about 30
seconds. Either that or beaten with a hammer and then squished together.
It’s not that they’re not good, of course. It’s just that I need to take into
consideration that just because I can have access to cool and tasty stuff from America, that
doesn’t mean that I should take advantage of the opportunity.
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