Just because it’s easy to get doesn’t mean it’s a good idea

I answered a question on Yahoo about the differences between PC and the foreign service. The differences, really, are legion but can be summed up like this: In FS, I can order Junior Mints from Amazon, and get them delivered to me in the diplomatic pouch.

It’s wonderful. Like I think I’ve said before, our mail call is a lot like it was on M*A*S*H, only updated for the 21^st century. There’s an email blast for everyone who gets a package, and then it’s a rush to get to the mailroom on the higher floor.

Last week, the balance of my Walmart order came – a new pitcher for my tea. It matches the little glasses I bought previously, only a different color. They’re Aladdin glasses that resemble Mason jars, only shorter and fatter. The glasses are green, but they didn’t have the pitcher in green, so I got red. The set together would be perfect for Christmas if I ever did any entertaining.

The pitcher, and likely the cups but I haven’t checked, are decorated with stickers that say “Made in China.” Oddly, I can’t find stuff like that here. Some is for import only.

So Walmart is the standby. I get mail from them, Amazon and LL Bean. Those are my go-tos. I’m waiting on a package from LL Bean. They added another color to their perfect fit pants lineup.

I’m not really proud that Walmart is the standby, but that’s the way it is. I can get groceries from there. I get stuff from Target, too, but they don’t send Cheetoes for shelf prices.

This order, though, I’ve realized that just because I can get things shipped here, it’s not necessarily a good idea to do so, especially certain times on the year.

Guangzhou is on about the same longitude (or latitude, I don’t really know which is which) as Miami, meaning it’s freaking hot in the summer. Hot and humid.

Mail comes over by plane. As you’ve probably noticed, there aren’t a lot of mail bags in coach. They’re in cargo, which is hot.

Hot underbellies of planes = melted Junior Mints. This is what I learned recently. Melted Junior Mints are really hard to ration, even if you stick them in the freezer as soon as they arrive. I am pretty careful eating them and treat myself to half a little box every night. It equals about 6-7 Junior Mints, and they get hard to chisel off and separate when they’re melty.

My first two shipments came all right, but then I guess it just got too hot outside. I’ve switched to Wintogreen LifeSavers for the summer, but I’m not as disciplined on those. I can eat a bag in two days. I think they’ve lined with crack or something.

In trying to hit the $50 mark for the free Walmart shipping, I decided to add some cookies. Granted, I have access to cookies here, but I’m not a real big fan of the weird Oreo flavors. My grocery store carries plain, but it’s a big seller and they tend to run out of it. And Chips Ahoy cookies are priced insanely.

I haven’t found a decent local brand of cookies just yet. They had some good ones in Jakarta, but trial and error on cookies can be very discouraging. I remember the Scooby snack crackers a little too well, for one, and green tends to mean pistachio and not mint, which is disgusting to me. As are the potato chip flavors (tomato, seaweed and shrimp), so I am not encouraged to experiment on cookies.

So Walmart it is. First thing, though, just know that even though Keebler’s Grasshoppers are THE best cookie, they’re not an option during summer for the same reason Junior Mints aren’t. They don’t chisel well, and chiseled Grasshoppers (a/k/a poor man’s Thin Mints) are best over vanilla ice cream, which isn’t available here.

I thought I’d hit the jackpot when I found Iced Animal cookies (also by Keebler; boy am I dropping some brand names in this post!) . I thought I remembered these from childhood. Just your basic cookie. Nothing but shortbread cookies with some kind of pink sugar poured on them. I remember them to be fantastic and good with just milk, as opposed to requiring ice cream. So I added to bags to my cart and checked out.

Sometimes reminiscing about the past is better than trying to relive it. (Although I would have gladly tried if those Danish Wedding Cookies still existed – get those elves to work, Keebler!) 

I tore open a bag as soon as I got them and oh, my. In the 30 years since my childhood, they changed the icing. It’s not the thin layer of pink anymore. No, that would have shipped well.

Now, the cookies have two kinds of icing on them, at least as far as I could determine. It was hard to do because in shipment, the cookies had been crushed and the icing had melted. Each bag was a mix of shortbread cookie, pink icing, white icing and some of those little sprinkle things.

The icing (both pink and white, from what I could tell) was sort of the cake kind. Not baked into the cookie, but the kind where you have to lick your fingers after. Normally, that wouldn’t be a bad thing, but when you have to separate icing goo from solid cookies, it’s kind of messy.

I guess at one point they had been shaped like animals, but what I received was this bag containing a glob of sugar in various forms that appeared to have been thrown into a blender and set on “course” for about 30 seconds. Either that or beaten with a hammer and then squished together.

It’s not that they’re not good, of course.  It’s just that I need to take into consideration that just because I can have access to cool and tasty stuff from America, that doesn’t mean that I should take advantage of the opportunity.

A contrast in cabs

Back to work as usual after my weekend in Kola Kinabalu. The last day was nice and peaceful, although I got a tad lost on my way to the beach. I apparently zigged and should have zagged and wound up walking about 15 minutes down the wrong road.

Except for the nasty blister on my pinkie toe, it was no harm, no foul, though. I eventually found the beach and got comfy on a big piece of wood and read a Dave Baldacci novel.

The flight back went all right, even though checking in was a nightmare and I sat in the very last row of the plane. My assigned seat was the middle, but there was no one to my left so I moved to the aisle.

Normally, I like to sit in the front and I don’t know how I got back there but I had been a bit concerned that I’d get tangled up trying to get off and then get stuck at customs and immigration, delayed, etc. The fear was because the flight has gotten in really late before and caused people to be late for work the next day. (KK is a popular destination for colleagues.) For me in particular, I had a meeting at 9 a.m., so I was a little worried that something would go wrong and I’d get in at 2 a.m. and oversleep, or something.

But the flight was fine, and then the waters just parted for me to get out. I’d spaced out and forgotten where I was flying into, I guess. Chinese residents returning home tend to come back loaded with stuff that they cannot get in the country (sounds weird, I know) and therefore people from the 30 rows in front of me were still gathering their stuff as I weaved in and out with only my backpack.

Then, in the terminal, the moving sidewalks work to my advantage because I tend to walk on them and not just stand. For some reason, they’re considered rides here, as are escalators. Signage in many stores tells people to stand and not move on the escalators, and for whatever reason, people just stand on the moving sidewalks as well.

Not me. I went through the terminal, kind of picking my spots to weave around (since everyone stands, there’s no clear passing lane) or just bypassing the moving thing and walking – my normal pace is faster than those things.

So I got through to immigration (diplomats use the “special lane”) fairly quickly and ran out to catch a cab home.

The cab stand, the legit one, is in a fixed place and you go and get in line and wait your turn, which isn’t bad at all. But of course, there are taxi hawkers everywhere, assaulting the non-Asian looking people as soon as they walk out the gates.

“Taxi?” “Where you go?” “Miss, need taxi?”

And no amount of shaking your head stops them. They just keep coming. (Note: this is not China-specific. Jakarta was horrific.)

So, after two head shakes and people still physically coming at me, I stuck my arms out, literally pushing them away.

This gained me a chorus of “oohhs,” though I am not sure why. Leave me alone and let me get an honest driver to take me home.

And I did. But the cab was far, far more boring than the one I’d taken upon arrival in KK.

Holy cow. I’d gotten in at 3:30 a.m., and followed the hotel’s instructions to go to the legit taxi stand’s desk, pay in advance and get a ticket to my destination.

Exited the airport to the cab stand itself and was motioned into the lead cab.

Oh my. OK, it was in the wee hours of the morning, but I don’t think I was dreaming. The cab looked like a normal cab from outside, but from inside, it was party central.

I’m not even sure I can accurately describe it, but it was a totally pimped out ride. The interior – and I mean all of the interior, ceilings and walls included – were upholstered like a leather sofa. By that I mean they had the patterns of leather-like material that were buttoned down every few inches, creating those little pockets that normally gather dust.

Does that even make sense? It really didn’t in a cab, especially on the ceiling. I mean, I can handle seat-like material on seats, even if it seemed weird in a car. But dark navy leather-like pillow coverings all over the ceiling and walls of a car? Totally bizarre.

Kind of like this, in navy. All over the cab.

Coming off the dash, there were several placards that said things like “VIP” or “party.”

The stick shift had some kind of diamond-looking topper on it.

The dome light would have been amazing had it have been a disco ball, but it wasn’t quite that. Instead, it looked like a crown. Yeah, I know, you’re thinking all dome lights somewhat resemble crowns, aren’t you? Well, this sucker was about six inches across, too. It was a lighted crown, not a solid circle light.

But the best part – the part that I really thought I was hallucinating – was  that at two points during the drive (I think we were going slow and he was shifting a certain way), little beads of rainbow light came shooting out of the dash, pulsating in time to the music. They kind of fanned out in a light display kind of way, dancing on the leather-like pillowish ceiling and walls and reflecting off the dome light.

By all outward appearances, it was a normal white cab. But oh my gosh, it was so utterly bizarre inside. The cab driver spoke no English, so I couldn’t ask him about it, but I couldn’t help but wonder what else that cab was used for.

A-OK in KK

I'm celebrating the Fourth in Borneo, which is what every American aspires to, no?

Really, it's a three-day weekend and the only chance for a multi-day get away during the summer. Leave is dissuaded and I have my vacation time alloted for anyway, so after our Independence Day party I jumped on a flight to Kota Kinabalu in Malaysia.

I'll post more later; somehow, the Internet here is even slower than at home. But essentially I'm fine and just have finished up two fill days of diving. I went for three dives yesterday (two AM, one PM) and three more today.

I thought I'd be back to the hotel before 5 and have time to make a plan for tomorrow -- my flight leaves at 8 PM, but we ran a bit late and the tourist place is closed. So, other than wander around the overgrown beach town, I have no idea what I will do.

It won't involve photos, though. Once again, my batteries have failed me. I swear, this is a new camera but maybe it's the batteries I need to replace.

Anyway, I can't take photos under water anyway, and that was the big thing. I saw two sea turtles! So absolutely amazing.

The visibility isn't as good as was in Putero Galara, and things are more shades of brown than in color, but it's still gorgeous. It's like an underwater desert -- lots of brown cactus-looking things, but they are coral and all kinds of stuff lives in them.

I really could get used to this whole diving thing. It's just amazing.
But another highlight has been the taxi. I will have to write about it later. It was just such a bizarre ride. And by that I mean the taxi itseld.

But that's all for now. I am done with diving and am now ready to explore the city.

And eat.