Moron that I am, when the embassy asked for a volunteer to “deliver remarks” at a jazz festival in a port city three hours away on my last Saturday in Vilnius, I offered. Somehow my mind skipped over the whole “you will speak in front of hundreds of people” to “free trip to Klaipeda, with music.” I skipped the lede for sure. But I did it, introducing (more or less) Karl Frierson, an American jazz musician based in Germany. (He’d served in the Army, was stationed there and “never left,” he told me.)
It wasn’t the first time I delivered remarks on behalf of
the ambassador to Lithuania, but it was the first time I intended to. The
previous time, a couple weeks ago, I had thought I was “representing the embassy,”
not delivering remarks. When I discovered that I was, I was terrified but got
through it.
That one was a much smaller, but more significant: it was a
Holocaust memorial. I’m right where the Holocaust happened, and it’s been made
more real to me this tour. Belarusians, Lithuanians, Poles – these were people
who were slaughtered. In Lithuania, other Lithuanians collaborated with the
Nazis to do so, which is why events to remember the victims are so important here.
(They hated the Soviets, so they sided with the Nazis.)
Those remarks were pretty scary to deliver, but there weren’t
near as many people, like 50-75. I was nervous, but not terrified. The jazz
event, while not as solemn or crucial to bilateral relations, would be hundreds
of people, some of whom spoke English! (There was a translator at the Holocaust
event.)
But I made a day of it, traveling with a colleague. It has
been raining here for awhile, so a day in the sun was out because the sun wasn’t
but we did go up to Palanga again and walked the beach in a drizzle. Just as we
were coming off of it, the skies opened so we ducked into a restaurant for some
good Lithuanian food and then headed down the half hour in the motor pool Ford.
We got to Klaipeda a bit earlier and had intended to wander
around the riverfront, but we wanted to make sure we knew where to go, which
took awhile. Somehow we managed to take a really long way around and didn’t
want to risk being late if we took off again, so we just hung out there,
assuming wrongly that it was going to start when we’d been told.
It didn’t, so we could have gone back about town, but it was
fine. It was a festival, so there was stuff to see. Heck, I could have even
lined up for a Johnson and Johnson shot and had a COVID test with rapid results
right then and there. But I declined; I’d still to have one tomorrow.
The first act, who was of Asian descent but had been born
and raised in Klaipeda, was pretty awesome, although I would not have
classified her as jazz. Of course, “jazz” is fairly loosely defined, and the
music poster depicted a guy in a cowboy hat riding a saxophone like a bull, so
go figure. But this singer – I forget her first name but her last name was Liu –
was not remotely country, although she physically and vocally reminded me of
Lari White. She was more new age-y, but I liked it.
And focusing on her music gave me something to ponder rather
than, “How did I get in here?” which I kept repeating all night. I mean, what had
I been thinking?
The shows, we thought, were an hour, meaning I’d go on at 7,
but it wasn’t until after 7:20 that someone came to tell me they’d get me later.
I think she was supposed to end at 7:30 or something, but she wound up finishing
close to 8.
None of that mattered for the crowd, though, because they
were having a good time. I, on the other hand, was getting more and more nervous
and also starting to wonder if I’d be able to make the 3-hour drive home that
same evening.
The people at an embassy who speak are not normally the
people who write the words, so it wasn’t like I was supposed to wing it or
anything, but I’d practiced and practiced the “remarks” and they still sounded
jilted. (Seriously, who starts with “Dear listeners!” So, by the time I
actually did it, I kind of went off-script, but it was basically the same thing.
Still, I was terrified, and shaking like a leaf. I got
through it and stepped off. And the funny thing was, Karl Frierson, wasn’t even
there yet, I don’t think. It’s not like I announced him and he appeared in a
cloud of smoke or anything.
He did come in, and I found him right away (it wasn’t crowded backstage) and said hi. He’s originally from South Carolina and I’m a Florida girl so we chatted a bit, and then I headed back to my table and colleague.
Unfortunately, because he went on much later than we thought he would, we could only stay for one of his songs, but I really enjoyed his voice. And it was much more fun after stood up in front of all those people.
I am gladed to have faced that fear, but I am not anxious to do it again.
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