Helo, Goodbye

I’m one of the “non-essential employees” who got evacuated from Baghdad last week. Or maybe it was earlier this week. At this point, I have no idea what day it is. Everything’s a blur, but I’ve just arrived to DC today. However, my arrival is on schedule for my R&R – they let me continue that more or less as planned.

We showed “Avengers: Endgame” on Wednesday, May 8, after I got home from Erbil. Even though I’d planned on seeing it either that day or the next – we had five showings over those two days – I decided to ease my way back into the embassy’s prison-lite life. There are so many more people in Baghdad than Erbil, and it’s an adjustment to return. The first night, when I walked from my apartment to the cafeteria, I didn’t see a single person I knew. That’s in contrast to Erbil, where you know everyone.

Point being, it took me a couple of days to get up to full speed in Baghdad. My first days were spent unloading a month’s luggage and loading up for R&R, for which I was leaving on Thursday, May 16. My Istanbul flight left on the 17^th but since it was a morning flight I was supposed to overnight at our airport facility.

My working assignment was in the economic department, which was really returning home because I’d been there for over a month before the month in Erbil. And when I got there – work on Sunday – I started hearing whispers that some people might be sent home. Since I was headed for R&R, this didn’t concern me, although I did joke that I gave it 30 percent odds that I wouldn’t come home. I’m nothing if not consistent, but when I said this one day people would laugh, but then the second day, I’d get a little tight-lipped “mmm” in response.

With absolutely no idea what was going on, I tried to re-think my packing. You get 50 pounds on the flight, and my bag originally had 38 pounds of crap, mostly for Wendy. I shipped a couple of flat-rate packages, including sending the toiletries I could fit into a box to Minsk. My thought on that was, on the odd chance I didn’t come back (still giving it 30 percent odds), someone else would have to pack up my stuff and there was no way that would make the cut. Since eventually I hope that stuff would join me in Minsk and I know someone there, I sent it there.

Monday, my second work day of the week, the possibility of leaving and not coming back seemed more real, and I asked for a second bag for my R&R. I figured I’d just throw in more clothes just in case I had to report back to DC, and I was still thinking I was leaving on Thursday night. I had no reason not to; my boss never said a word to me about anything. In all embassies and consulates, there are lists of people who would stay or go in any situation. Normally, people’s bosses would relay that information to them, but that never happened to me. I’m not stupid, though; my position is being eliminated, so I knew there’d be no way my position could be considered essentially, but it would have been nice to have received some kind of official word, you know?

But the economic boss kept me up to date with everything, not that there were any decisions handed down. However, when the second-in-command of the section pulled me aside and said, “you should pack,” on Monday night, I went home and packed, but I still continued with my full workout routine first. I fully figured on leaving on Thursday night for my Friday flight to Istanbul.

However, I figured if whatever hit the fan and people left, I would not be able to take my extra bag, so I shipped more stuff. I paid $40 in postage to ship some sheets that someone gave me to Florida, and I threw in my much-loved stuffed dog and something else that was lying around, maybe my tennis shoes. I sent my spices to Minsk – more that would have been left behind – and something else to Florida, but I really don’t know what it was.

That became the theme. I kept switching stuff, trying to figure out what to pack if I had to go to DC (which is where we’d be evacuated to) or if I went to on with R&R as planned. Just no idea, and Tuesday was more of the same, only more intense. People started shredding and then there was an announcement that there’d be a meeting the next morning to tell us what was going on.

Tuesday night, I only did half my workout routine and continued packing up the apartment. Everything – everything in my entire apartment – got piled up in the living room, so if someone has to come later and throw it all in boxes, it’s all there. I didn’t bring much, but it’s still a giant pile and I hope to see it again. And at that point, it became real that I might be leaving and not coming back, especially when I got a message from my colleague who’d said she’d heard we’d be on the first flight out.

Sleep was out the window at that point, obviously, and I was up until around midnight packing, then couldn’t sleep so I threw in laundry. A late-night email from people higher than my boss said that people needed to be ready to leave after the meeting. That will keep you awake. I put the laundry in the dryer at 5 a.m., resumed packing and then grabbed breakfast. On the walk to the cafeteria, I put out the last two “kindness rocks” I’d painted. One I’d intended to keep but I couldn’t spare the room. It said “bright spot,” and I hope it makes someone’s day later but that morning, it was beyond stressful.

After breakfast, I unloaded my clothes from the dryer, tried to pack again and send off last-minute packages. A friend called and said she’d heard we were on the first flight out, which was the second time I’d heard that. At 7:15, I went into the office to print post-office labels, ran back to mail the stuff (and I hope it eventually arrives) and then went back into the office to shred stuff.

I’m not a paper person. As much as I write, I don’t print. It kills me when people print stuff, and holy cow, the crap we had lying around. I found this big fancy ring binder with a detailed schedule on some VIP visit from 2015! Seriously, don’t print that out. And if you do, don’t put it in a hardbound binder. And if, for some reason that has to be rooted in arrogancy, you do, shred the damn thing when it’s over. C’mon people!

And CDs. Geez, Louis. We’re not even allowed to put CDs into our computers, so why keep these things you get at news conferences or wherever? Don’t take them, but if you take them, shred them as soon as you can. What is the point of keeping things around that you cannot use, or are useless? Good grief.

I was busy up until the meeting time, and everyone and their brother came, like hundreds of people. The place was jam-packed and I went up to the second floor to listen.

The big boss started talking about this and that, then announced we were leaving. He waxed on about the good work that’s taken place since he’s been here and overall, and talked about this and that. I get that he was trying to thank us all, but at that point, there were hundreds of people in the room who just wanted to know what the plan was. Finally, he passed it over to the logistical people, who then rambled on about this and that.

As an organization, we’re not good at getting around to the point. There’s even a movement to try to do that when you’re writing. Since we have acronyms for everything, and they call it BLUF – Bottom Line Up Front. I call that DUH. Don’t bury the news; put it in the lede. And that’s what we all felt like at the meeting. After much talk, they finally dropped the nugget that people would start leaving at 3 p.m. that same day. After a lot of beating around the bush, we gleaned that those people would need to be ready to go at noon, which was about an hour and a half from that announcement. The announcement had come about the same time we were told that at that very moment, we would receive a very detailed email with two comprehensive attachments that we’d be expected to read and complete before departure. After the meeting, the plan was for the probably 1k people in the room to come up and find their name on one of 10 copies of the flight manifests to know if/when they were departing, then go check their email and follow up with it and then go pack/finish packing. Yeah, nothing wrong with that, right?

If Pete hadn’t done it, I would have: from the balcony, he yelled, “Can you just read the manifest for the first flight?” Oh my, how simple was that? Clue in the people who have T-minute 90 minutes to get ready! Fortunately, they did that, and, although it was a bit off-putting that there were a slew of people on the list who weren’t there at the moment, we figured it out.

And I was on the first flight, though one of the people who’d told me we were both on it was not on it. I really had no clue what was going on.

Fortunately, I was allowed to keep my R&R plans, so except for having to re-purchase a $400 flight (which I am not happy about but will have to get over), my life is continuing as planned – at least for the moment. All bets are off on or about June 6 – I was originally headed back to Baghdad that day but now have to go to DC instead – but at the moment I’m enjoying my R&R.

Istanbul, as always, was fantastic. I really didn’t do much tourist-wise. I did my favorite walk from the tower over the bridge, but that really was it. Mostly, I went into the office and hung out with my colleagues. And you know, work is so much fun when you don’t work! I just hung out in the cafeteria and drank tea and visited with people. That probably sounds geeky and lame to people who have never been to Istanbul, but although I think it’s the best city in the entire world, what I mostly miss are people. I had a wonderful time visiting everyone and just a lovely time walking around. I miss it.

I’ll miss Baghdad, too, but for different reasons. And although other people will be back, I seriously doubt I will. Since my position was being eliminated, it doesn’t make sense that they’d send me back. I’m realistic about that. It’s sad to me, since I went in for 20 months and had hoped to add a second year and wound up only being there eight months, but maybe down the road I can sign up again.

I’m going to miss it, for sure. I took my last helo ride out and just tried to enjoy the view, even though that trip in particular was very unsettling.

This job is very much “needs of service” and I get it. My life is in upheaval right now, but I’m not stressed out about it. I have a job and will continue to have a job. Lots will change, but I’m still employed, and there’s still a lot to be thankful for.