I love my job. For the first time in what feels like
forever, I have a real job that no one can fire me from. Yay, tenure!
Government work! Steady paycheck! Yeah, there are shutdowns here and there, but
so far, I’ve always been an “excepted employee” or whatever it is that means I
still get a paycheck.
The employer is one many people dream of working for. That
part amuses me, because I kind of fell into it. Coming back from Peace Corps
during a recession, I literally applied to hundreds of jobs. My dream job would have been writer/editor for
the Department of Interior somewhere – just throw me on a national park and let
me work. I couldn’t find one of those, and, despite being on all kinds of lists
for other federal work, couldn’t find a PR or writing gig so I started applying
to secretarial positions.
When I got the little email that announced I’d advanced to
the interview for this gig, I literally had to go back to the USAJobs ad to
figure out what it was. So, although I really, totally love my job, it’s not
one I sought out.
Lots of people seek out this employer. There are different
job tracks, all of which are higher ranked than mine, and people plan and try
for years to get hired.
Being the kind of person I am, I am on a couple of message
boards geared for people seeking information and advice on how to get here. And
people, more and more it seems, seem to think they deserve to know what and
when every last thing is going to happen. If someone replies, “it depends,”
people will vent, but the thing is, everything depends, and you can’t control
much. You qualify, you take the interview, and then you just wait.
The advice is to live your life as if you never applied, and
although I did that, other people don’t seem to grasp the importance of it. I
can go back through my posts on those message boards and see that I’ve been
incredibly consistent in my answers, telling people not to make plans and
whatever will happen will happen; there’s nothing people can do about it.
Although it sounds fatalist, it’s not intended to be; it’s more of an
acceptance that a person cannot control outcomes.
And boy, am I glad I really believe that.
This tour has thrown so many wrenches at me I could open my
own hardware store. I arrived counting on 20 months with the hope to make it
three years. Then my own second year got cut, as did the position I’d hoped to
slide in. Next, the whole situation went sideways and I left but didn’t
technically leave (since I went on R&R) and then came back to Baghdad for
about two days before going to Erbil.
It’s a numbers game and I’m not clued in on how it works,
but I was thinking by mid-August, it would be OK for me to take my third
R&R. Since I’m not sure when I might find out if I can go, I’ve been
looking at package tours, because they do all the planning for you.
I found one and narrowed the start dates, feeling so
confident that I asked my sister if she could join me. Fortunately, she could
not. On Thursday, (my Friday for work week purposes), I and two others were
asked about our plans for Baghdad, R&R, our onward posts, etc., because one
of us had to go. Whether temporarily or permanently, we didn’t know, and still
don’t.
Since I feel like I’ve been short straw-ed this whole tour,
I figured it would be me, but someone else offered to take an R&R and just
hope she’s able to return. She’ll be leaving in a couple of days.
As an aside: people in Foreign Service do very different
travel planning. This didn’t occur to me when I asked my sister if she wanted
to go. I forgot people have to really think, budget and plan before crossing
oceans for fun. My colleague opted for a Mediterranean cruise and when she
called the travel agent, he was confused, asking if she intended to depart on
August 4, 2020. No, she tells him, next week.
The one I’m looking at is similar; it’s to South Africa and
includes a little safari. People plan these for years, but if I can go, it
would be August 13, 20 or 27.
But right now, I have no idea if I’ll be able to. I’m not
even sure to ask. For numbers reasons, I’m covering four different positions
right now, and my on-paper boss doesn’t oversee a one of those. I’m not
entirely sure whose call it is if I can go, let alone when, but I’m trying to
decipher that. My only condition on going is that I want to be able to return,
because that’s also unclear.
This way of life has made me less of a planner, but trying
to stress that to applicants often falls on resentful ears. Or, eyes, I guess,
since these are message boards. But even early on – I’ve still only been in
this job five years, 15 more until I can retire from it – I’ve learned that you
can plan as much as you want, but you have to know and be OK with – 100 percent
– those plans crashing and burning.
Last year, I thought I’d be in Baghdad through 2021. Now I’m slated be in Minsk by the end of
October. I may or may not get another R&R, and if I do, I may or may not
get back to Baghdad. I could wind up working in DC or elsewhere for a couple
weeks. Not a clue. I’m just rolling with it as best as I can.
